From Party to Column: How a Bisexual Changed the World with Her Voice

At a birthday party filled with laughter and celebration, I hit a turning point. Someone I had just met said to me, "You should know better." This statement is etched in my memory as if it were frozen in time. Our conversation changed from casual chit-chat to an exploration of my sexuality, and when I mentioned that I had a girlfriend, he gave me a surprised look.

His reaction forced me to face what all bisexuals often face in their lives: surprise at our existence, endless questions, and the fact that some people think they know more about their sexuality than we do. But this time, I am no longer the one confused about my sexuality. After years of self-discovery, I've finally found my niche - a confident bisexual who won't be swayed by anyone's opinion.

So I stepped up to the plate and explained to my friend at the party that he was wrong. I told him that as a gay man, he should be more appreciative of the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community and not be surprised to meet a bisexual person. I emphasized that bisexuality is not some kind of transitional or hidden homosexuality, but a real and legitimate sexual orientation.

This conversation not only changed his perspective, but also inspired me. He suggested that I should share my experiences and insights to help more people understand the reality of bisexuality. It was a suggestion I had never considered before, but at that moment, I decided to take the challenge.

A few weeks later, I published my first article about living as a bisexual and the challenges we face. After the article was published, I received invitations from editors all over the country to write more articles on bisexual issues. I wrote "10 Problems Bisexuals Are Tired of Hearing About," an article that reveals the prejudices and misconceptions faced by bisexuals and responds to these ignorances with humor.

Over time, I've been able to dispel stereotypes about the bisexual experience through articles and interviews. My inbox is full of letters from readers all over the world, some of them thankful, some challenging, but most of them looking for help.

This prompted me to create an advice column called "Ask Dad" where I share letters from readers and give my answers. This column has not only helped those who have reached out to me directly, but it has also provided support for those who have not yet found the courage to reach out.

Over the past three years, I have answered as many letters as I could from people seeking advice on everything from how to come out of the closet to how to deal with a partner's bisexuality. It has been a great honor to be a source of support for these people.

I hope that through my efforts, I have contributed to creating a more inclusive and understanding world for bisexuals. I dream of a world where every bisexual person is able to express themselves freely, unencumbered by prejudice and misunderstanding. Whether you express yourself through music, art, or debate, I hope that everyone finds their own way to contribute to changing the world's perception of bisexuals.

One of the most important lessons I've learned on this journey is that when you're brave enough to come forward and tell your story in your own voice, you can not only help yourself grow, but you can also inspire those around you. You may be a scared bisexual in a bar, but if you can play to your strengths, remember what motivates you, and care about your community, something big could happen.

I'm Lewis Oakley, a bisexual columnist, father and author living in the UK. My new book Bisexual Basics: a Q&A guide to coming out, dating, parenting and beyond is coming out this May. Feel free to follow me on social media @lewyoaks for more information.

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