Asserting Identity at a Birthday Party: a Bisexual's Journey of Self-Discovery

At a birthday party filled with laughter and celebration, I encountered a moment that would change the course of my life forever. "You know better than that," a friend I had just met said to me. Those words are etched in my memory as if they were frozen in time.

At that time, I was introduced to a mutual friend, and we started the usual party chit-chat. When he asked me about my relationship status, I confessed that I didn't have a boyfriend, but I did have a girlfriend. His reaction was one of shock, followed by a series of questions and prejudices that are all too familiar to bisexuals.

But this time, I am no longer the one confused about my sexuality. After years of self-exploration, I've settled on who I am - a confident bisexual. I don't feel self-doubt because of a stranger's ignorance.

I responded firmly to his query, pointing out his misconceptions about the LGBTQ+ community, especially the stereotypes of bisexuals. I told him that bisexuality is not a transition or a cover for hiding a queer identity. We are real and should be treated with equality and respect.

This conversation not only changed his perspective, but also inspired me. He suggested that I should share my thoughts and experiences to help more people understand the real lives of bisexuals. It was a suggestion I had never considered before, but I decided to take the challenge.

A few weeks later, I published my first article on the experience of living as a bisexual. After the article was published, I received invitations from editors all over the country to write more articles on bisexual issues. I wrote an article about 10 common questions bisexuals hear, responding to these biased queries with humor and honesty.

Over time, I have been breaking down stereotypes of bisexuals through articles and interviews. I have received feedback from bisexuals and supporters from all over the world who have shared their stories and expressed their gratitude to me.

All this experience inspired me to create a column, Ask Dad, where I answer questions from readers on everything from coming out confusion to the challenges of dealing with a bisexual relationship. The column has become a platform to support and inspire those seeking help.

I hope that my experiences and efforts will create a more open and inclusive world for bisexuals. I encourage everyone who is bisexual, no matter what your talent is, to use it to change the world's perception of bisexuals for the better.

One of the most important lessons I've learned on this journey is that when you are brave enough to stand up and speak out with your own voice, you can not only change people's perceptions, but you can also provide strength and hope to those who are still searching for their identity.

Lewis Oakley is a bisexual columnist, father and author living in the UK. His forthcoming book, Bisexual Basics: A Q&A Guide to Coming Out, Dating, Parenting and Beyond, will be released this May. Follow Lewis on social media @lewyoaks and work together to create a better world.

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