How to come out of the closet with your parents?

Cost-benefit analysis of coming out of the counter

First of all, you have to do a cost-benefit analysis of coming out of the closet. The costs of coming out of the closet may be: being kicked out of the house, the parent-child relationship breaking up forever, and the parents' expectation being disappointed; the benefits of coming out of the closet may be: living more freely without the need to spend energy to cover up, and having a more sincere relationship with your parents and easier communication. This is a cost-benefit analysis that you must make based on your own situation, your parents' beliefs and values. You can use the chatbot on the line of the Taiwan LGBTQ Counseling Hotline Association to make a preliminary assessment. The so-called cost-benefit analysis is not meant to be quantified in monetary terms, but you can use money and time to give a number to each benefit and disadvantage, for example, to live more freely without spending energy to cover up the benefit, you can estimate how much time you can save each year by pretending, how much time you are bothered, and approximately how much these times are worth. Similarly, how much family assistance will you lose if your parent-child relationship breaks down forever, and what is the approximate value of the time and degree of pain caused by the breakup of your parent-child relationship?

After you have a concept of objective cost-benefit analysis, you can proceed to the following stages:

1 Assess your relationship with your parents

When it comes to telling your parents that you are gay, it is critical to assess your relationship with them beforehand. How close are you to your parents? What kind of conversations do you usually have? Are there any issues that need to be addressed in the conversation? Answering these questions can help you establish a conducive atmosphere and interaction when talking with your parents. It can also help you visualize the mental state and emotional preparation you will need when you come to the table. If you have doubts, it is important to go back to your cost-benefit analysis instead of moving on. Having a good understanding of your relationship before taking the next step is an important part of ensuring a successful exit.

2 Choose the right time and place

Choose a good time and place when you tell your parents you are gay. Create a space where both you and your parents feel comfortable and safe - make sure they are not interrupted or interrupted during a conversation where you may be nervous or defensive and you interrupt them as soon as they talk back.

If having a conversation at home doesn't feel right for you, consider going to another place where you and your parents will feel safe. Whatever place you choose, focus on the place that will make the conversation easier for both parties.

3 How to express

Expressing to your parents that you are a lesbian can be a frightening experience. Keep in mind that they will want to ask questions, and while they may feel uncomfortable at first, you want to leave time for them to think and then let them ask questions, because the point of coming out is that you can have a conversation about it.

You need to think about what questions they might ask, and then, the answers to those questions - how far do you want to go with them, and if there are questions you don't want to answer or discuss in depth, you can think about what you want to say first, such as: I'm still thinking about it. You can think back over the past few months to the times when you had more success communicating with your parents and how you talked about it. If you think about this and there is a lot of uncertainty or another situation that scares you, you should not continue, but go back to analyzing the cost-benefit.

4 Manage their response

It may take some time for parents to process their emotions. You cannot expect them to accept it on the spot, especially if you know them well enough to know that they are the more unacceptable parent. You may have to be more patient and adapt. If they are unacceptable or show disappointment, but don't react violently, maybe take a nap and go to rest, and wake up in a much better mood. If they don't react this way, you need to determine if they will be okay after a while or if they will have a permanent negative experience.

Provide Resources

Conclusion:
To quote the Gay and Lesbian Advice Line article, you must first answer the question, "Why do I want to come out of the closet? When the good outweighs the bad, you can think with certainty, "I must come out because of how and what. You can answer this question before you think, "How do I come out of the closet?

If you are considering coming out to your parents as a lesbian, it can be a daunting and stressful process. To make things easier, there are a variety of resources designed to provide support and information. LGBTQ+ organizations are good sources of guidance, as they often have advice specifically tailored to what you are going through. They may even have hotlines that allow you to communicate your concerns in real time with someone online or over the phone. In addition, there are many helpful articles in books and on websites about successfully resolving this delicate situation. Gathering all the help you can will give you the confidence and reassurance you need to face the situation head on.